| Profil de Jintai Casy时间使人忘记梦想、原则和朋友，偏偏有些事情我们又...PhotosBlogListes |  Outils  Aide |
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1.8cent一分钟，我一直都是用这个，不用记Pin，很方便，买的时候输入promotion code: HIIMQN, 我们俩都可以得到免费的60分钟，记得哦，哈哈:)
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时间使人忘记梦想、原则和朋友，偏偏有些事情我们又记得很清楚，我们记得自己 曾经有梦想、有原则和有朋友。--張小嫻
22 novembre 突然病了一小下 照常地，weekend回去加加班，虽然头有点痛。该做的事做完，老大说带我去data center学习学习，老大都开口了，怎能拒绝。在车里颠簸了一下，头更痛了，还想吐。 跟老大说，不好意思，先走吧，老大很仁慈地把我送回家。结果一病就病了几个小时-___-|| 虽然短短几个小时，我就已经开始有时差了，现在要睡又睡不着，躺在床上想东想西。 人病的时候，而且是当你只有一个人，特别容易想起从前。好多细微的琐事，都不知道自己还记得，慢慢地就像在脑子里放电影花絮一样一个个重现。回忆了中学，大学，grad school第一个sem，似乎就停止在那里了。那些回忆，连着当时的感受，还好，都在。 现在想想回忆里的这些人，都已经不再联络了。难得要回国一次，其实也想跟他们聚一下，可是又很怕要去面对他们已经改变了的事实。 活到这个年纪，也算是有点人生阅历了，知道自己几斤几两，什么是可预期的，什么是可遇不可求的，大概也都知道了。以后的人生，只有计划，很少惊喜。每个人都很成熟，很理智，不会忘我地笑，也不会放声地哭。最好的回忆，都是在你最懵懂，最单纯的时候留下的。 这样的想法，是不是很悲观？有时候觉得，我不要再这样活了，我不想笑的时候就不笑，不想说话的时候就不说，不想跟你打招呼的时候，你能不能把我当隐形人？但是不行啊，谁叫我已经对社会的规范有了默契，我已经变成了他们其中一个了。我必须在乎别人的眼光，必须去做那些对的事情，必须独立坚强。大家都再遵守这些规范，就是因为这些不是什么坏事，我们就更没有理由去反对它。 小的时候，别人对你好，一定是别人喜欢你。现在别人对你好，通常就是礼貌，或者职责所在，或者为了某些事情要奉承你，不必当真，更不必感动。大家都只是在做应该做的事，你也礼貌地回应一下就算了。 有试过想要像以前那样在网上跟原来很熟悉的人聊天，结果得到的是公式化的回应。那一刻真是彻底失望，宁愿从来没有和那个人认识过。不是任何人的错，只是各自有了要遵守的约束。 我还是很喜欢梁静茹的歌，已经有些年了。 平实的语气，唱着悲伤且坚强的歌，让我感觉有人一起痛，一起无奈，一起复原。 希望读到这里的人都有美好的回忆。 18 avril 想起五中的日子 今晚出去吃飯，甘岩個waiter係廣州人，以前住係昌崗路，离中大好近。翻屋企之后唔知點解仲好念念不忘果個人，好后悔無問拘知唔知五中，話唔定我地係校友呢。所以林住我下次一定要再去果間嘢吃飯，再問下拘。但係我居然點都林唔起究竟五中果條路叫咩名。我係果度度過左六年，果六年入邊，幾乎一個禮拜有6日都會經過嘎果條路，我居然唔記得叫咩名。你話我點忍得住唔去google下呢。Anyway，係南田路。對自己好失望。更失望嘎係，我穩到五中嘎網站，睇左一輪，發現左一D熟悉嘎面孔，其中有級長，班主任....我連呢D人嘎名我都唔記得左，后尾睇翻聯絡薄先穩翻我D記憶。果D當年對我好好嘎老師我又記得啵，你都唔知我几甘渴望可以參加校慶或者同學會，可惜啊，越恨嘎嘢就越無辦法得到。 睇到五中嘎舞蹈隊，足球隊，名校友，好多囬憶，好多感慨。當年係舞蹈隊打滾甘耐，初中到高中，貢獻唔少，五中舞蹈隊最輝煌嘎時期我應該經歷過啦。以前千万個不情願去排練，去演出，去睇人面色，或者卑面色人睇，好唔情願甘同舞蹈隊扯上關係，同老師都翻埋面，但係我今日居然會care舞蹈隊名單上面無我個名，而且名單上面好多人我都唔識得或者覺得連我都唔係上面，點解會有你份？？足球隊，又有好多囬憶。睇到名校友嘎名單，入邊好多都係足球仔。絕大部分我都識，起碼知道係邊個，唔識嘎果D都係因為拘地早我好多屆。換言之，我地之后足球仔都唔係好惦？我不溜都好以五中為傲，特別係足球隊。真係唔想見到拘沒落。有D人你明知拘可以踢得好叻，有D人痲痲地，但又并唔係最叻果個上名校友錄啵，好登人地唔抵。當年用左甘多精力係上面嘎嘢，十年之后嘎今日，只係變成囬憶。 其實林翻轉頭，係五中果陣過得并唔係好開心，但係自從畢業之后我就好懷念五中嘎一切。我最年少無知，最stupid嘎時期就係五中，點可以忘記啊。從細細個到宜家，我一路都好在乎人地點睇我，唔敢行差踏錯。所以每當離開左一個地方，我先至可以淡然面對過去，因為我知道我一定會好過以前。如果有D嘢卑我重新揀過，唔知我會唔會揀呢？ 31 janvier 辭舊迎新 08年真係峰迴路轉。經歷佐各種困難，可以話係目前為止有過最最最低潮咖一年，就好似美國咖經濟甘。獨在異鄉，無家人，無朋友，無工作，無畢業，總之乜都無，跌過兩次入谷底，心底飽受煎熬。好彩年底有D轉機，轉佐工又畢埋業，逃離傷心地，雖然未算修成正果，但總算卑佐大家個交待。而且有機會卑我番去IL，仲同傻慈有個短聚，真係好開心，雖然summer咖彿羅里達之行危危扶，但係相信始終有一日會同傻慈同偉倩聚一聚咖。 09年又係好重要咖一年，足以決定我未來幾年咖發展。公司搞活動，要玩D咩時間膠囊，將心願，夢想，總之一切你想係4年后見到咖嘢放入個箱度，掘個窿埋起据，將來一起再打開。公司絕大部分咖活動我都好捧場，呢個就真係唔敢當，4年喔，點知到時係米度咖，唔通寫D真心話卑老細見到咩，傻傻地咖。09年官方咖願望不外乎都係搞惦個簽證，升職加薪，操fit D，番廣州，其他咖就唔講咯。 係甘多住，希望大家都心想事成啦！ 6 octobre Moving again 过去两个月真係辛苦。一邊做一個寥寥無期嘎論文，一邊穩工。講真，自己好惊，但係除左死撐落去，仲可以點。美國經濟奇差，某日見到wsj.com上面一個醒目嘎紅色標題：BUSH: USA Economics is in danger，頓時成個心都涼晒。果只甘嘎嘢，打落地狱都唔夠啊，一个正常嘎人类係唔可能自私成甘嘎，唔明點解美国人忍到拘做总统。
守得云開見月明，终于來左個几唔錯嘎offer，从recruiter開始，打左幾次電話，到technical phone screen，再飛去三藩市面試同測驗，前前后后都係3日，居然被我搞惦左。雖然未簽約（千其唔好反悔啊大佬！！），又仲有D細節未傾，但係幾時報到，幾時開工都講惦得七七八八啦。幫我卑搬屋費同頭兩個月幫我穩屋住，一切嘎一切，對于我嘎第一份工，我仲有咩好挑剔啊，認真感謝各方神仙与非神仙。
所以，我又要搬咯。面試之后，公司穩人帶左我係三藩市入邊行左轉，嗯，真係好靚，我都几中意，涼左小小。終于要結束我嘎LA生活啦，個几月嘎時間，終于又肯定左我一路對尼度嘎睇法，我真係唔中意尼度。 至于原因，我就唔解釋啦，費事得罪人。
希望一切都順順利利，我會好努力！！ 29 juillet My car was sold :( My car was sold :( The whole thing is still so suspicious and scary. A family, two adults and two teenagers drove from Chicago to get my car last Thursday. I was scared by their slang through the phone at first time and could hardly understand what they were talking about. They wanted me to drive half way to meet them. No way, right? So I offered them a deal. I took $100 off from the original price to paid them drive over here. It was over 11pm when they arrived. We met up in Walmart parking lot, and I had my friend accompany with me. During the whole process, they were trying to irritate us and distract our attention. The lady even want me to pay for the half way gas for them to go back. After we rejected, they rejected to give us a ride back home. I and my friend both sensed the intense over the air. My friend even told me it's possible that someone would pull out a gun if they have one. After that, we walked inside Walmart, waited there until they left then we have someone to drive us back home. I was so scared that I was still shaking the next morning. I rushed to the bank and put the money to my account. Luckily the money is ok. This is such a bad bad experience. But we should always look on the bright side. Lessons were learned. They may be helpful for you too if you are going to sell your car.
Bye bye, my dear car. 22 juillet 離開Carbondale在即 才發現离離開Carbondale的時間可以跟奧運一起倒數。另外一個星球的人告訴我原來沒几天了，雖然我不知道他到底是怎么算的，他那裏可能一天有76個小時。 情緒有點復雜，不安，焦慮，記憶力減退，我是不是該開始喝太太口服液啊？離愁別緒倒是沒什么。我媽說我孤僻冷血，看來多吃几年米的人是不一樣，眼光犀利。 突然一激動，上了一下Q，和當年的兄弟們聊得很爽。他們本來在討論8月3號畢業十周年聚會來著的，看來我也可以開始話當年了。雖說畢業十周年聚會，听起來聲勢浩大，可是不要被我說中，來來去去還是那幾個內定的人。初中的聚會我好像沒去過，可居然有人說我去了。看，記憶力衰退的表現。我一點都想不起來每次我畢業的時候都干了什么，這應該就是人緣淺的主要表現。 囬望這兩年，不知怎么地覺得這是我目前為止經歷的最不開心的兩年。當然，也沒有什么大災大難發生，可是人好像被磨平了。以前很樂觀，覺得想做的事一定做得到，現在不敢鐵齒。以前很喜歡標新立異，就是要走跟別人不一樣的路，現在沒有了嘗試的勇氣。以前可以很輕易地寫下自己是一個什么樣的人，現在覺得自己好像什么性格都沾一點，就是沒有性格。听起來好像很好笑，現在我用來提醒自己本來應該是一個什么樣的人，居然是靠看B型射手狗的性格描述。 不知道在LA等著我的是什么，希望LA隻是一個小站。期待著體驗讓我脫胎換骨的經歷，期待著讓我有動力的人。 26 juin 小小苦楚等于激勵 努力左甘耐，defense居然唔過，差小小，仲差小小，W生實在好嚴格，不過你有你道理，我有我道理，再試第個方法，應該會有improvement。 原先尋日都几唔開心，仲要同一紮人交待，好彩媽咪好理解，使我舒服左好多。Anyway，都唔係咩大事姐，希望好快就可以做完。唯一嘎好事就係Yahoo嘎電話，雖然八字都未有一撇，但點都算係穩工嘎一個好開始。學媽咪話齋，我一直都太順利啦，有時小小挫折米當同自己敲下警鍾咯，而且講真，對我嘎影響都唔算大，所以，OK啦。 仲有個零月就要離開尼個town崽啦，賣車，搬屋，好啦蠟蠟雜雜嘎嘢要搞，新生活又要開始啦。 四只字，勇氣，堅持！！！ 11 juin Something that beyond your control When you meet something that beyond your control, the only thing you can do is wait and pray. When you could only turn yourself to someone else, put your destiny on someone else's hands. When you don't know to whom complaint may be made. When you want to be weak but you have to be strong. I need a family. 22 mai Integreted Debugger for Java*/JNI EnvironmentsEverything sucks. But no matter what happens, life goes on. So I have no choice but keep working. Hopefully it will be better in two months. I decided to use Java GUI as a front end for my CUDA project. Finally I found a video that is clear enough to show the process of JNI debugging. Hope it is also helpful to you. 19 mai 震 寫也是習慣，不寫也是習慣，才發現已經一個月沒來這裏了。這個多事之秋，包括中國，也包括我自己。自己的事不說了，跟全中國都關心的事比起來實在很微不足道。 中國今年到底怎么了? roommate發給我這段很經典－故天将降大任于斯國也,必先下其大雪，撞其火車,搶其火 炬，震其國土，漲其物價，跌其股市，空乏其民，行拂乱其民心，所以群情激愤，增其民族主义！國今弱，然后能強。忧于内，患于外，而后作。苦于围，困于堵，而后起。入则无法家拂士，出则无敌国外患者，国恒亡。然后知生于忧患，而死于安乐也。此大國崛起之征兆也。實在很樂觀哈。其實這一震，我倒還覺得蠻溫暖的，看到中國人的團結，衆誌成城；看到本來不和的人在天災人禍面前，不計前嫌，共同抗災。政府這次的應對目前算是很不錯了，溫家寶也很盡職，倒是比較擔心一些中層官員，誰能去監督他們執政呢？不過總體來說，這屆的國家領導人還是比江李時代的好，當然，如果住朱鎔基也在的話就更好了，中國就是缺像他這種有大將之風的人，可是為難了他就是了。 臺灣這次的反應也是很讓人感動哦。可是網上的言論總是讓人覺得很受不了，不管是來自大陸的還是臺灣的，甚至于香港的，妳們就不會好好說話？非得把人家祖宗十八代罵遍了才爽？有這么仇視對方嗎妳們？作為中國人，我當然想兩岸統一，這不是政見問題，而是血緣問題。但是我也知道這不是這么容易的事情，你願意人家未必願意，除非有一天臺灣變成共産黨領導了，或者大陸變成國民黨領導了，那時候才有希望吧。況且臺灣的年輕一代對大陸已經沒有歸屬感了，人家自從出生，受的教育就是臺灣是一個主權獨立的國家，讓他們去認親（盡管那是真的），不容易啊。就是因為這么難，這次地震臺灣對大陸的幫助才更加彌足珍貴，現在在看臺灣的賑災晚會，那些捐助，那些眼淚都是真實的啊，我相信如果臺灣有需要的話，大陸也是會第一時間站出來幫忙的。真希望這樣的氛圍能一直持續下去，做不成親人也做朋友啊。所以不要再吵了，真是很讓人反感。這也是我討厭政治的原因，通常它只會無事生非，或者把事情變得更糟。 剛聽說SIUC有個同學，她的表妹這次就很不幸的成了災民，被列在死亡名單上面長達4天。不過倖運的是，她在被埋了120多個小時之后被解救出來了，而她身旁的4個人全都死了。希望我們的一點點捐獻能夠早日給災民提供幫助。 現在好像不是說笑的時候，不過還是忍不住，剛剛听到臺灣紅十字基金會的會長說了一個詞“災胞”，實在很好笑，瘋了我。 19 avril 美國中西部的罕見地震 昨天去學校，聽見大家都在討論淩晨4點多的“震動”，才知道早上發生了5.4級的地震，震央似乎就在离我們不遠的地方。然后大概10:15am的時候，又發生了一次，當時在office，整個office都在晃動，雖然只持續了大概兩三秒，可是在illinois這個鬼地方，已經是很罕見了，對上一次的5.4級地震，好像是1968年，而且5.4已經是有記載以來最大的了。想想看，大陸版塊內欸，地震？大家都說早上被晃醒，那次大概持續了十几秒的時間，倖好大家都還平安無事，而我自己完全沒感覺，真不知道當時在做什么春秋大夢。有個同學很誇張，4點多被搖醒之后，帶上全部家當，把車開到學校的一個空曠的停車場，然后自己躲回我們department （據說我們department的建築還蠻安全的），所以他是淩晨4點多就到學校，說是很多嚴重的大地震都是發生在淩晨大家熟睡的時候，而且之前都有一些小地震，我說他就差寫遺書了。 有個問題搞不懂的是，為什么illinois算是中西部，明明偏東啊，anyway，題外話。 中國，加油！！ 今天聽說明天，哦，應該是今天，已經過12點了，芝加哥的中國留學生
（和其他華人吧）會在城裏遊行，抗議最近的辱華反華事件，好像附近大學的同學會被邀請，不知道我們學校有沒有被邀請，畢竟我們還真有點距離。
Anyway，好激動哦，如果真的有遊行的話。但是也好替他們擔心，希望不會發生什么暴力事件。每次看到关于中国的海外留学生站出來为国家说话就很感动，也很感伤，留学生的力量有多单薄，我们都很爱国，但是我们只是学生，我们也不想总是被卷入政治里面去。我多希望政府能够多做一点事情，我很希望政府在最近發生的事情里成长成熟，多为中国作宣传，讓别人多了解中国。這不就跟男女關係一样嗎，有話大家說清楚，误会经常来自于双方的不坦白，還容易有第三者。期待孫中山，期待宋慶齡。 前兩天學校請來了David Sanger, 紐約時報的資深記者，他是專門負責報道白宮事務的。他被請來學校縯講，title是：The Rise of America's Stragetic Competitors: China, India and Janpan. 縯講前有一個roundtable discussion， 學校希望能有4個中國學生參與，學生會的advisor算上了我一個，嗯，正好趁機看看這些強人到底有什么強的。可是這人讓我蠻失望的，雖然他并不會做什 么很明顯的動作，也不會說什么很露骨的話，但是他的言談舉止，他對我們的問題，都讓我感覺到他就跟其他千千萬對中國有偏見的西方媒體一樣，并不友好。一個 在日本呆了這么多年，有多年報道亞洲事務經驗的記者，居然不會任何一門亞洲的語言，日文也只是會點菜，聊相撲和女人。這樣一個人，我很懷疑他平時作報道的 時候消息來源是哪裏，他有沒有能力去真正感受當地的情況。他每次舉關于中國的例子，都是講一些會對中國産生負面影響的事情，好像這些事情在美國就不存在一 樣。他玩政治的手腕或許很高明，很懂得囬避問題，但我并不認為他會是一個很負責的記者，也不會對世界和平有任何的幫助作用。最后去了六個中國同學，五個女 生哦，都很爭氣，都舉手問了他問題，雖說我不讚同所有的這些問題，或者說我覺得應該換個方式來問，但是證明了我們中國同學還是對這些國家事務很關心的哦。 而且你看看title，China, Indian and Janpan，連個印度人和日本人的影子都沒見，discussion后的free dinner倒是看見了兩個日本學生和一個印度學生的身影，唉。政治跟娛樂一樣，都是瞎起哄。 如果真的有示威，希望大家都平平安安的咯。 13 avril Ooh hoo!!! Ooh hoo!! I am accepted as a student volunteer again this year!! That's mean I am going to LA this August. Wenxue just call me and let me know this exciting news. I wanna kiss her, haha. One more thing, congrat to Guoning that his paper is accepted by Siggraph. Happy, happy. And the weather is weird today. In fact, it is being weird all over the country this year. I saw we may have chance of snow today, and we just have a short period of ice rain. STOP GLOBAL WARMING!!! 9 avril Let the Games Go OnAs many of you may know the Beijing Olympic protests over some countries are going on now. I decide not to keep silent. As a Chinese, I need and love to speak for my country. I am proud to be a Chinese and impressed of how greatly people's living condition have been improved in the past decades. Of course China is not perfect, that's why peoples and the goverment are trying hard to make it work. All those people who against our goverment don't know what exactly is happening in our country. They think they do, but what they are doing is not helping us to achieve our goal. They are just making it worse. China is such a big country which has various elements involved, please understand how tough the job will be for a goverment. I don't see other government could have done a better job. One more thing, Tibet is, was and will be a part of China. I have witnessed my friends in college went to Tibet and supported for their development. Because we are all Chinese, we are families and we love each others. So please remember, Tibetans are Chinese, like Cantonese and Beijinger. We are just from different parts of the same country, we develop our unique culture while at the same time get benefit from our sharing culture. Patriotism and loyalty are of the principal moral standard. One could have different opinion to the government, but should not betray his/her own country. It is like a family, you don't have to agree with everything your families do, but you cannot deny you are families. For those dalai lama who claim independence of Tibet, I feel deeply shame for them. They don't even act like Buddhists. They forget how to be a real human being and used by people who have evil purpose on our country, they will pay for what they have done sooner or later. My friend was trying to call me this afternoon from San Francisco, he insisted to go there to witness the torch relay, even he would be late for a meeting in Santa Clara, which is 40 mins away. He told me all the Americans he saw all support free Tibet, they even tried to persuade him. All the medias on site would only like to interview with those Tibetans and their boosters. No one even try to ask for a Chinese's opinion. This is sad. Peoples misled by medias without awareness. And they even think that they are justicial.
What we need is your kindly understanding and support. The article you will read later may give you a general impression of China from a Chinese. I cannot agree with the author's opion more. Hope that helps you to solve your puzzle. Please feel free to share it with your friends.
Regards.
Let the Games Go On By Joan Chen
I was born in Shanghai in 1961 and grew up during the Cultural Revolution. During my childhood, I saw my family lose our house. My grandfather, who studied medicine in England, committed suicide after he was wrongly accused of being a counterrevolutionary and a foreign spy. Those were the worst of times. Since the Cultural Revolution ended in the late 1970s, however, I have witnessed unimaginable progress in China. Changes that few ever thought possible have occurred in a single generation. A communist government that had no ties to the West has evolved into a more open government eager to join the international community. A state-controlled economy has morphed into a market economy, greatly raising people's standard of living. It's clear that the majority of the Chinese people enjoy much fuller, more abundant lives today than 30 years ago. Though much remains to be done, the Chinese government has made rapid progress in opening up and trying to be part of the international community. Last month I went to China and spent four weeks visiting Shanghai, Beijing, Hong Kong and Chengdu. The people I met and spoke with are proud and excited about the Beijing Games. They believe that the Olympics are a wonderful opportunity to showcase modern China to the rest of the world. Like many Americans, most Chinese people are disturbed by the recent events in Tibet. But after watching the scenes of violence and arson by the rioters, the Chinese believe that the government is doing the right thing in cracking down to restore order. The Olympic torch is in California and is to be carried through San Francisco today. In a resolution criticizing China, Chris Daly, a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, said that demonstrating against the torch relay would "provide the people of San Francisco with a lifetime opportunity to help 1.3 billion Chinese people gain more freedom and rights." To his credit, Mayor Gavin Newsom did not sign Daly's resolution. This statement could not be further from reality. For one thing, the Chinese are a proud people. They want freedom and greater rights, but they know they must fight for them from within. They know that no one can grant them freedom and rights from afar. The stigma of Western imperialism and the Opium Wars also remains a strong reminder of the past, and Chinese people do not want their domestic policies to be dictated by outside powers. They also do not want the United States to boycott the opening ceremonies of the Games. The U.S. boycott of the 1980 Games in Moscow and the Soviet boycott of the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles accomplished nothing. A U.S. boycott of the opening ceremonies in Beijing would be counterproductive for relations between the two countries. For decades, anti-China human rights groups in Washington have spent millions of dollars denouncing China. To many Chinese, it seems that this lobby is the only voice that's acceptable or newsworthy in the U.S. media and to the U.S. government. But times are changing. We need to be open-minded and farsighted. We need to make more friends than enemies. Remember what a little ping-pong game did for Sino-U.S. relations in the 1970s? Let's celebrate the Olympics for what the Games are meant to be -- a bridge for friendship, not a playground for politics. The writer is an actress and director. She became a U.S. citizen in 1989. 8 avril DNA Fragrance 在PR上看到去年的一篇新聞，Beverly Hills（實在是很籠統）研發出能根據DNA找到的signature fragrance的方法。雖然我不追奢侈品，但對香水還是情有獨鍾.。曾經因為一個人身上的香水味牢牢把這個人記住了，街上偶爾聞到那個味道，居然讓我在街上找了半天。一次偶然，百貨公司寄來的catalog裏面夾著某個牌子的香水sample，味道居然跟那個味道一樣，后來證實還真的是那種香水，實在很神奇。聞香識人，一個人被一股獨特的香氣圍繞，是能讓人産生聯想的，呵呵，可能是因為裏面有酒精的原因。前兩個月上網挑了瓶香水送給朋友，自己沒有試過那個味道，但是因為一句話挑了它，據說那香水讓她想起了佛羅倫薩，而去那裏已經是很多年前的事情了。這不是很浪漫嗎？因為一股香氣而勾起的囬憶，我相信那一定是很值得懷念的。后來朋友說她很喜歡那瓶香水，似乎受到了好評，很是讓我開心呢:) 話說囬來了，這個DNA香水的新聞，其中有一句話--“My DNA Fragrance has made it possible to capture your essence in a bottle creating one of a kind fragrance that is exclusively you.”讓我想起了一部電影‘Perfume“。這電影，hmm，該怎么說它呢，有點美，但大部分的印象還是惡心。講的是一個人為了要試驗出獨一無二的香水，謀殺了很多少女，往她們身上塗滿油脂(還是別的，不太記得了)，最后用她們的頭髮把這些油脂蒐集下來用來做香水。最后這些香水果然廣受歡迎，還起到了很奇怪的作用（具體怎么奇怪，自己看電影就知道了）。這電影簡直就是抹殺大家對香水的幻想，感覺是在蒐集體味，咿～～想想就很惡心。 Anyway, 挑香水是要講緣分D，同一款香水在不同人身上還是有不同的味道，時間長了就聞齣來了，難道真是DNA作怪? 2 avril A Tragedy I've heard from some people today that a student's body had been found in campus creek
today. I thought it just another normal case, well, of course it is sad
for victims' families and friends, but I mean it just doesn't have a
lot to do with me. Until my roommate told me that the student was
actually a Chinese, I read the news on internet, and I found that's
someone I knew. My God, I was shocked. We were in the
same class, he always sat in front of me. He's not very talkative, but
he was a nice guy, a very serious and hard working student. I could
still remember when was the last time I saw him, even what he was
wearing. I cannot believe he just gone like this. I feel for his
families but don't know what I can do for them. Hope that the police
could find out his death reason soon, and also, hope that his death was an accident. I
will morn for him. 1 avril Smith Waterman on GPU I get it run today on CPU and GPU, using two 5000-long sequences, which are definitely long enough for DNA alignment. My way is to do the local alignment for two sequences in gpu, each thread calculates one element value for the score matrix, and one diagonal a time. The popular way to implement smith waterman in gpu now is to align multiple pairs of sequences, so each thread runs a whole alignment for two sequences. My result doesn't come out good. The performance of the cpu version is even better than the gpu's. Even though they both consume very little time. The overhead mainly come from the communication between cpu and gpu. No wonder a professor from Italy said that he doesn't think smith waterman could be fit in gpu very well. Besides, the computational complexity for each element is relatively simple, one could not get a lot of benefit from gpu. There are two things I could do now:
29 mars 醬爆肉 這次做的是醬爆肉，很簡單，很好吃，關鍵是要買到那個醬  食材：豬肉，鷄蛋，mix vegetable，蒜頭。 調味料：韓國豆瓣醬 （也就是他們的味磳醬啦），生抽，糖, 白醋，that's it!! 步驟：
 21 mars Gods, again~~ We discuss Gods again today. It just happens. How many Gods do I know from India? I would say I know some from my dept, haha. Should I believe in God? Well, I hope so, and I really wish to. But I know in my heart, I don't. How would be the feeling like if one believes in Gods? It should be good, I guess. There's someone that you think you can trust in, you can depend on; someone that will show you the way in dark, gives you courage, comfort your heart. To me, it is so unreal, like a mystery. I don't know if there is God or not. Show me if you were there. The thing I don't like about Gods, is when things happen, it is all because of Gods, it is all about fate, no matter it is good or bad. If it is all about Gods, should we just wait for something to happen? What's the duty of Gods? How could we let someone control our life? Shouldn't we follow our own minds as human beings? Usually what comes around goes around, but it seems most likely because of the cause and effect instead of the mysterious power. To me, religions are like advanced hypnologies. There must be a way to understand how it works. If there hasn't yet, it is probably we are not smart enough now. People I love are my Gods. I will treat them as you do for your Gods. 16 mars 辣猪肉炒饭 今天剛做的辣猪肉炒饭，發現自己的厨艺比剛來的时候很有进步，有几個招牌菜了哦  。食材： 猪肉，baby bella, 黃洋葱，紫椰菜，冷饭。 调味料：料酒，生抽，白糖，黑胡椒，鹽，麻油，韩国辣椒酱(kochuchan)，油。 步骤： 1、把肉切成条，放油，鹽，黑胡椒，白糖，麻油腌上一段时间； 2、黄洋葱切成粒(多點無所谓)，baby bella切成片，紫椰菜切粒备用； 3、热锅，放油，放洋葱、猪肉、baby bella，炒到半熟后放點料酒小焖一分钟。这样就會出一點水，等一下放了酱也不會太粘。 4、這個要根据个人喜好和承受程度啦，本人超愛韩国辣椒酱，不光辣，還有點甜甜的，放了兩大勺。拌匀，試下味，不夠的話可以在放點酱油和白糖； 5、冷饭搅开后下锅，跟料炒匀，每粒飯都有颜色当然是最好的咯。 6、關火，把紫椰菜粒放进飯里拌匀(紫椰菜生吃ok的，清甜的味道可以消除一点辣味，颜色好看又有营养，VA和VE很高哦，對皮肤好)； 7、上碟，在锅里直接吃也可以   (ps. 給所有可能不知道的朋友：發現做炒饭還是一定要用冷饭的，以前以为是米饭就好，N年前居然還試過直接把洗過的米扔下锅炒。米饭煮好了要放上一段时间，讓水分蒸发掉，不然抄出來的飯會粘在一起。) 罪人 世界上好像沒有無法原諒的事情，只是不想而已；好像沒有忘不了的人，也只是不想而已。如果我心裏覺得對你有罪，證明我愛你。 我知道你上了鳳凰衛視的節目，不知道你都說了什么，有沒有一些我感興趣的事情。我多希望你對我感到愧疚。 9 mars Websites to recommend Heresy's recommended items just remind me of sharing two websites to you guys. Very amazing to me. ---- PANDORA(http://www.pandora.com) An online music station like website. To start, you tell the engine the song or the artist you like. The website then lists all the songs that it thinks you might like also. It is based on a theory that each song has its genome. It finds out songs which have the same or the similar genome to your taste in music. I indeed think it works. It is time saving. Because many times you may only know the songs you have heard and you like. This website helps extending your knowledge of music somehow. ----Stumble Upon(http://www.stumbleupon.com/) A website somehow like a search engine, while different to it at the same time. Unlike Google, you just need to tell the engine what you are interested in or descriptions of the things you like, then click on 'StumbleUpon'; the engine will find out everything it thinks you might be looking for. I have no idea now how it makes itself different apart from Google-liked search engines. But I really think it works better sometimes than Google especially when you don't know what you are looking for exactly, you cannot figure out a keyword for it, you may know its catalog or its attributes. I actually find a lot of interesting websites through this engine which were hardly seen in Google's rank list. ----Image Metrics(http://www.image-metrics.com/) It is a pretty new webiste. I just find it out. I haven't studied on it yet. But the sample video looks fantastic. It seems like a great evolution in facial movement simulation. You may try yourself and you will fall in with them. Thanks to Dave for sharing. 6 mars 我唔開心 其實好唔想用個甘嘎title, 因為越甘會越唔開心。不過硬係要寫一個，尼個似乎最可以歸納啦。 点解我会唔开心呢？我上网search左下，發覺唔開心嘎原因可以归纳为以下几类： 1。 有外界嘎某种因素造成左你嘎心情低落，从而被你认为係唔開心。 嗯，有可能嘎。最近對人好失望，越来越唔知道点同人相处啦。人相处耐左，总係有好多缺点暴露出來，而我又唔可以忽略拘地嘎 存在。人可唔可以唔好甘自私自利，甘计较呢？我宜家听到free lunch尼個词就想呕咯。男嘎係甘，女嘎又係甘，点解個個都係林住自己先嘎姐？？拘地真係可以无论发生乜事，事无大小，第一個反映都係“甘我点啊？”，或者係話“唔關我事，唔係我嘎责任”，诸如此类，真係好黑人憎咯。靠人真係靠唔住，真係好想有個人我可以信賴嘎，但係發覺無咯。係米大家獨立慣左就會變成甘呢？我自己係米都已经变成拘地甘呢？ 系主任，唉，我嘎心头痛啊！啊大佬，你叫人做嘢态度可唔可以好D啊，虽然你出粮卑我，但我都忍左你好耐啦。既然你甘唔满意我做嘎嘢，做出來D嘢令你觉得甘呕心，你有兩次机会可以換左我姐，你做乜唔換啊？？我真係好顶你唔顺。你知唔知宜家我因为你，去二楼我都係兜路行，费事经过你门口。我宜家次次开email，都好惊见到你個名；平时去department，好惊撞到你，又用一个好失望好蔑视嘎态度同我讲“Jintai, I need to talk to you!!!!”。你发email卑我可唔可以唔好用甘多大写，用甘多感叹号啊？OK，叫我重新設計過個website啊嘛，我改過晒卑你，你話唔好改設計，淨係改過D顔色，等拘望落似春天，甘我又改過十几只色卑你揀，你又話awful, 話拘地all the same，叫我creative D。大佬，我有卑過心血落去嘎，你講嘢可唔可以卑D尊重啊？我知我成日避住唔見你我都有唔岩，甘做好消極，但係我真係好唔想見到你啊。邊個想幫我設計下嘎，可以去睇下http://www.cs.siu.edu。仲記得當初設計我地宜家用緊嘎尼個版本過陣，你話OK果一刻，我真係差D喊出來啊。 2。 由于生理週期嘎轉變，一個人嘎情緒高低係有週期性嘎。 Er.....尼樣唔話得你知。但我覺得可能性比較低。 3。 自尋煩惱型，就係齣于妳嘎個人心態。 CUDA code今日終于可以run啦，只不過計出來嘎結果唔岩，我要盡快搞店拘。尋日上網買左個GeForce 8400GS, 最最basic嘎一個卡，平啊嘛，自己卑錢，run得就OK啦，買拘都係為左唔使靠人。之所以將拘歸埋來自尋煩惱型，係因為我希望我係自尋煩惱，終有一日拘會好嘎。 大家有無覺得唔知自己想要乜？我就唔知。我以前一向都覺得自己几有林頭，几有幹勁。但係宜家，我真係唔知，一直以來我想做嘎嘢基本都做到啦，我曾經以為自己會變到好開心，曾經以為我只要擁有目前嘎嘢就會覺得倖福滿足，所以以前所經歷過嘎一切辛苦我都覺得值得，而且為之驕傲，因為我以為漫長嘎痛苦始終都會換來倖福。宜家我好懷疑。我好希望穩到自己嘎人生意義，好希望可以知道自己嘎天賦係乜，好希望知道自己真正想做同可以做嘎事係咩。讀電腦？我都為拘付出左好耐啦，為一樣自己根本唔中意嘎嘢付出甘耐，係米已經夠呢？但係夠唔夠又可以點呢？我從一開始就知道自己唔應該讀電腦，但係已經無得翻轉頭啦，而且好多嘢都唔係自己話點就點。我唔讀電腦又可以做咩啊？我好想為我媽媽，為真係對我媽媽好嘎人做番D嘢，但係我無能力，而且前途渺茫，我唔知我係米真係可以做到。我對自己嘎信心已經跌到落谷底。 我原本唔想承認我唔開心，我覺得係一種懦弱嘎表現，而且大家都希望掩藏自己真實嘎想法。但係唔知點解突然間覺得承認都係一種勇敢嘎表現，話唔定寫出來會舒服D，可能唔開心嘎唔只我一個。 |
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